July 2011
4 posts
Mary H: "I just feel so dirty. It just isn't right. I wish my vagina would just seal up and close!"
Becky L: "Well... That's an interesting thought..."
“Enright, he keeps the dick tight.”
– Justin H
“Your girlfriend probably has AIDS”
– Becky L
“There seriously is nothing more unattractive then a guy who shows up uninvited,...”
– Mary H
June 2011
2 posts
“I went into class, and everyone just looked like bunnies….”
– Jessica L
The Search
Becky L: Sounds like a looooser...
Mary H: And what are we? We're searching for a best friend on craigslist....
May 2011
26 posts
“Nice fake nails, go back to Kmart.”
– Becky L
“Just because I’m drunk and laying in the grass doesn’t mean I...”
– Mary H
“We’re looking to fill the position of “best friend”....”
– Becky L
“It smells like apple juice in my car and that makes me happy.”
– Becky L
Becky L: You're not getting laid tonight.
Mary H: Why?
Becky L: Because if I'm not getting laid, neither are you!
Mary H: WHEN DID THIS RULE GO INTO EFFECT?!
Becky L: About 5 minutes ago.
Becky L: She wrote me a fucking song!
Mary H: Have you even met her yet?
Becky L: No
Mary H: God she's going to be disappointed...
The List
Milk
Soda
NO CHICKEN NUGGETS
“No judgment. I wouldn’t even care if you had stuck it up your cooch.”
– Mary H
Mary H: We should just ask DEV to be our new best friend...
Becky L: Oh my god, yes! She'd be perfect because she "ain't yo averagee bitch!"
“I want some people that want to experiment…”
– Becky L
“THAT IS NOT ON THE LIST. I KNOW WHAT IS ON THE LIST. I MADE THE LIST.”
– Becky L
Watch
“I would rather not lose my virginity to a drug dealer, thanks.”
– Jessica L
Mary H: HEY! Do you work at Salvators?!
Black Man Bo: No... he's just wearing that uniform for the fun of it.
Mary H: Can we go holla through Memorial park?
Becky L: OF COURSE!!!!!
“Never have I ever…. purposely take a nap”
– Mary H
Becky L: We're suburban trash - that's what we are.
Mary H: .....well... Maybe you're suburban trash. But I'm a country queen. I just lower my standards and hang out with you guys!
“My mouth feels like its full of puppies!”
– Mary H
“Can I get some Bleu Cheese for my pregnant friend?”
– Becky L
On a serious note...
Mary H: I have to force myself to stay in the truck every time I get stopped by a train.
Danny W: Man... we used to chase them.
Mary H: I miss that feeling. Like when you're standing there with your eyes closed and arms stretched out as it flies by and you take a huge breath... but it doesn't feel like air. It feels like you're just being surrounded in freedom.
Danny W: No other way to describe it...
The Track Breakdown
Mary H: I’M ONLY 17! EVERYONE EXPECTS SO MUCH FROM ME!
Beck L + Weston T: MARY! ALL WE EXPECT YOU TO DO IS WALK!
Mary H: I'm jumping in the pool. I don't care how cold it is.
Mama L: Yeah, but the pool is pretty dirty.
Mary H: Yeahhh... but I'm probably dirtier.
“I’M OKAY WITH THIS LINE! I’M OKAY WITH IT!”
– Mary H
“Get in the back, Rosa Parks!”
– Becky L